Astronaut Jones
From "Saturday Night Live"

EPISODE 16
"The Creature From Porpula"

Astronaut Jones: This is Astronaut Jones. I'm on the planet Porpula. There seems to be no one around. Over. I'll keep looking. Over. Maybe there's.. danger.

Announcer: "Astronaut Jones." Tonight's episode: Episode 16, The Creature From Porpula.

Astronaut Jones: [into walkie-talkie] Hello, Earth? I think I hear someone coming. I'm going to make contact. Over and out, Earth. Bye.

Female Alien: Earthling, my name is Krugella.

Astronaut Jones: Uh-huh.

Female Alien: I'm the Queen of Perillians.

Astronaut Jones: Right.

Female Alien: A proud and peace-loving race.

Astronaut Jones: Right.

Female Alien: My people have been awaiting your arrival for some time now.

Astronaut Jones: Stay word.

Female Alien: We're in desperate need of your help.

Astronaut Jones: Dig it.

Female Alien: The Galaxians have seized our cities and plundered our riches.

Astronaut Jones: What?

Female Alien: They will stop at nothing until our whole civilization is...

Astronaut Jones: Mmm-hmm.

Female Alien: ...blotted from the universe.

Astronaut Jones: Say what.

Female Alien: You're our only hope.

Astronaut Jones: Right.

Female Alien: You must help us...

Astronaut Jones: Dig.

Female Alien: ...or we will surely perish.

Astronaut Jones: Mmm-hmm.

Female Alien: What do you say?

Astronaut Jones: Right.

Female Alien: What do you say to that, Great One?

Astronaut Jones: Well, why don't you drop out of that green jumpsuit and show me that fat ass!

Jingle:
Rocket.
I'm taking a rocket.
I'm packing my suitcase.
Hey, look out, moon!

Announcer: "Astronaut Jones", written by Tracy Morgan. Directed by Tracy Morgan. Hair and make-up by Tracy Morgan. Produced by Tracy Morgan and Melvin Goldfarb. This has been a Morgan/Goldfarb Production.

Voice: You like?

Astronaut Jones V/O: You're look' up, money!

Music

Astronaut Jones Theme Song

Rocket.
I'm taking a rocket.
I'm packing my suitcase.
Hey, look out, Moon!

Yeah, a rocket
into outer space.
Good-bye, human race.
I'll be there soon.

Blast off!
For fun and adventure.
Yes, I said adventure
collecting stones.

Yeah, it's my way,
on the old space highway.
That's why they all say,
"There goes Astronaut Jones!"

Hey!

Credits

Produced by
Tracy Morgan and Melvin Goldfarb

Written by
Tracy Morgan

Directed by
Tracy Morgan

Hair and Make-up by
Tracy Morgan

Astronaut Jones
Tracy Morgan

Female Alien
Britney Spears

"Astronaut Jones" is a Morgan/Goldfarb Production.